Bisexuals — Often are in the purgatory of our society.

Rob Clewley
5 min readNov 27, 2020

The term bisexual is a term that is often misunderstood and judged in our society, even within the LGBTQ community. Those who identify as being bisexual have a long road to being accepted by all in our culture and at times are not accepted by very many. Even at a time when the acceptance of gay marriage is at an all-time high, acceptance of bisexuals remains low and an area that we must work at.

Now, others in the LGBTQ community like gays and lesbians and of course transgender people do often get discriminated against and do not have it easy by any means and we bisexuals stand with them through and through but it must be acknowledged that the bisexual part of this community struggles with acceptance from both their fellows in this community as well as the rest of society.

When it comes to dating in the straight world, bisexual men especially have trouble being understood and accepted. There are many women who just will not date bisexual men and this is largely due to misconceptions that many in our society have of bi people. People think that if you are bisexual then you are “greedy” or “selfish” or a cheater or the any number of other stereotypes bisexual people get labeled with.

These stereotypes are simply not accurate and they can be extremely harmful to those who are of this sexual orientation.

They are harmful because bisexual individuals like everyone else deserve to be treated equally and kindly. The way that bi people are judged are not right and should not be tolerated. The way that bisexual people should be treated is the same way that everyone should be treated and that is with kindness, with acceptance, and with compassion.

This orientation is just like any other but for some reason the people who identify this way feel more alone than most. It is almost as if for many who are bisexual they are not accepted by the straight side or the gay side of society and are often misunderstood by many.

It took me a long time to accept my own sexuality, it takes what it takes as they say but finally at 45 years old I am accepting who I am and fully am beginning to embrace both the gay and straight side of who I am and all that goes with it. This has not been an easy path but being who you are in a world that is not always accepting and compassionate never is and that is what those who are bisexual experience.

There are some common myths about bisexuality and I would like to go over them in a bit more detail.

  • Greedy
  • Selfish
  • Confused

These myths and misconceptions about bisexuality are inaccurate pictures of what it means to be of this sexual orientation and they should be called out for what they are and that is inaccurate portrayals of bisexuality and what it means to be bi.

Those who are bi are not greedy, most of the people in this part of the LGBTQ community only are with a man when they are with a man and are with women when they are with women. They can stay in monogamous as well as committed relationships with one gender as well as one person.

The same thing is true about being selfish. Bisexual folks are not selfish. Just because someone likes men and women does not mean that it is all give me everything and the more, more, more attitude. Attraction is not action, you can be attracted to both genders and not be greedy or selfish in the same way that gay and straight people are not that way about who they are with.

The last misconception is the confused one. While some people do have confusion because of many of the struggles that LGBTQ people face due to not being accepted, most bisexual individuals are very sure about who they are and what they want and confusion plays no role whatsoever in the lives that they lead.

Being bisexual is no easy feat. You sometimes are isolated and alone and made fun of or not understood by either side or society in general, you are out in no man’s land to use a baseball analogy of shallow left center field in between the outfielders and infielders. We who identify as bisexual people often feel like the outcasts of society and have to work extremely hard to find happiness and personal acceptance.

The journey is well worth everything as being yourself is always what you should strive for. I know that the journey for me to accept my sexuality is an ongoing process and it is a process that changes day by day but the goal of this article is to show that bisexual people are out there and exist and we need to see them and accept them.

The way that our society views LGBTQ people in general is unaccepting and cruel but bisexual people face it from all sides including in their own LGBTQ community at times. There are countless jokes made about bi people and they are hurtful and damaging to these people and their quest to gain acceptance and find who they are.

Bisexual people are real and they exist. We can never stop accepting them and helping them to find their way.

Dating for bisexual people is complex and this is especially true as previously stated for bisexual men. Women do not usually want to date us as they have their own homophobic and unaccepting views and gay men sometimes do not want to include us in their circles either, it is a challenge to navigate the dating world for bi folks to say the least.

However, bi people are here to stay and we are here to be proud as everyone should own who they are and embrace themselves and their own path.



Rob Clewley

Author, activist, American. Love to write everything from politics to recovery and much more. Find me on Twitter under my name for much more!