Dating in a COVID World is a Strange Reality

Rob Clewley
5 min readDec 18, 2020

Dating and meeting people is hard in normal times and especially difficult for those who do not partake in the drinking lifestyle but during a pandemic it has been hard for everyone. For those in recovery both of these issues make it more difficult and make meeting people a challenge, but even for those not in recovery it becomes a challenge.

Dating has always been hard. It can difficult for men and women alike and a challenge for both straight and LGBTQ people too. The difficulties in meeting people have always been there. For women it is more of a standards issue and for men it is more of a competition and availability issue but for all it can be a challenging situation and can become frustrating when things tend to just not work out.

Then you have the pandemic and things change drastically and meeting that special person or finding a date for a Friday night becomes a whole new ballgame and the obstacles mount up. For those who drink it has become hard to meet people with bars and other social gathering spots closing down and for those in recovery who tend to meet people in 12-step meetings, coffee shops, and the like has turned into a brick wall.

The pandemic has created a sense of isolation and loneliness for so many and the real need for human connection yet we have no outlet to meet people and find cures for this isolated feeling. We are told to self-quarantine and stay away from others (for good reason) and this can make finding a date and not feeling alone an impossible task. This is the one aspect of the pandemic that impacts us all equally whether we are gay or straight, man or woman, sober or not.

Of course, we have dating sites but those places that are normally hard enough to find connections become even more so. People become much more selective in the people they swipe right on and this can make you feel like you are not good enough and perpetrate this feeling of utter solitude that is so very common during the COVID-19 pandemic for people all across the U.S. and the world.

These sites have always been difficult to meet people on. You have to have the perfect picture, the most spot on bio, and be exactly what a person is looking for and that is not based in reality. It is like Facebook, people are not what their profile suggests and this is what many try to put out there, an image of who they want you to think they are. The other thing is that it is difficult to find the “just right” photo for your profile, some people look much better in person than they do in photos. All of these things make the dating site world much more challenging, making finding someone even harder in our new and strange isolated world.

If anytime was a time when we needed connections, it is during this pandemic and the sense of being alone it has created. However, finding these human connections that we crave is harder than it has perhaps ever been and this makes the isolation even worse. I think that at a time like this people should ease up on their standards in the online dating communities because when we go out in the real world, finding someone to date and connect with in the socially distanced 6-feet away and masked up is a very difficult thing and for many reasons.

One of those reasons is that people are afraid to catch the virus so the act of approaching someone to meet them and make that introduction is not very much of a possibility these days. People want to keep their distance from others and that makes the act of meeting people out and about much more difficult than in the past.

We all strive for a connection and to have that physical and emotional bond with someone but it is difficult to achieve during a time like this. For this reason, many feel isolated and lonely and are dealing with things during all of this and strive for love and companionship. That is not so easily achieved during a global pandemic with a deadly virus out there and so many locked down and quarantined away from society.

It is very hard to find dates during this time. The world has changed and the normal places that we would go to meet people are all shut down or have changed dramatically due to the new normal. This makes it hard to connect to others and find someone to share our time with. This also creates a situation where our mental health suffers and where we may not feel our usual selves and that complicates matters.

Suicide rates are up, depression is on the rise, and loneliness is more prevalent now than it has been in some time. Not only is dating harder than ever with people being closed off to new experiences but even when we do meet someone we wonder if it is safe to gather with them and let our newly developed “virus guard” down and trust that they are free from having the COVID-19 illness.

These are all very legitimate concerns and reasons why people are feeling isolated and lonely at a time when they just want to meet people and mingle.

Finding someone to share things with is hard enough but add a pandemic and everything that goes with that in with it and it becomes even more difficult to meet people and develop a connection to. This is a hard time for us all but in the end, we all need love and we all want to have that companionship, so let us be mindful of that when we are dealing with each other. The feeling of being alone is a hard thing to go through at any time , especially at a time like this.



Rob Clewley

Author, activist, American. Love to write everything from politics to recovery and much more. Find me on Twitter under my name for much more!