Finding Love is Hard
We all saw the movie. Sleepless in Seattle. A classic about the endless search for love and what we do to find it. It is in every song we hear, every TV show we watch, every ad on the side of a bus. LOVE. We humans are in the never-ending search for it and will stop at nothing to find it, or will we?
The search for finding someone is a hard one and sometimes the pain of looking and not finding it can be just as bad if not worse than not looking at all. In fact, the search itself can be exhausting both physically and emotionally and can really weigh a person down. It can weigh them down so much that life loses its meaning and other areas of their life begin to suffer as a result of this exhausting search for love and intimacy.
We all have this need for love. Many people do not validate this need that people have to meet someone and have that connection but it is real and it is a real need and a real hurt when the need is not met. Researchers have found that the need for physical touch and companionship is as important as the need for air, food, or water and I believe this to be true, when we do not have the need for these things met, we cannot survive and the same is true for the need for a human connection.
So, the question remains, how do we find love and fill this need?
The answer is not an easy one and neither is the quest.
The quest to find someone is one that frustrates, disappoints, and hurts many in this world and the old saying while true, is not easy to adopt and that is that you will find it when you stop looking. That is like saying to a starving person not to look for food, or to a homeless person not to seek shelter, or to anyone needing something to survive not to seek that thing that they need, it is a hard but true concept.
The harder we look, the harder it is to find it, but it also is hard not to look when your heart desires something, especially something as meaningful as love and a human connection. I believe that we must find a happy medium on this quest so to speak.
We must never stop looking for love and a person to complete us, but at the same time we must not stop living our lives while we wait out that painful and frustrating process and search. The old saying says that love is not going to knock on our door, that we must go out and find it and that is true, but we have to keep living, keep working, keep on the journey of self improvement while we wait for it to happen.
It will happen, that is at least what I tell myself, but I also do not deny or reject the difficulty of it all and how the search for love is a painful and frustrating process that can weigh you down at times. It can really take over your life and create feelings of low self-esteem and depression and can start to carry over and negatively impact other areas of your life.
In Alcoholics Anonymous they have a saying, one of many. The saying is well-meaning but when someone is going through things it does not make things better and that slogan is “This too shall pass”. My response is, yeah well, it isn’t passing. Problems do not magically vanish, it would be nice if they did but it does not work that way and one of those problems is the lonely feelings of not being with someone.
It is like when you are hungry or tired. The only thing that will make you not hungry is to eat and you will still be tired until you sleep. Nothing else will solve those problems and the same is true for this issue. You will feel pain and sadness from being alone until you are not alone and until you meet someone and nothing else will solve the problem, sad to say.
So, in short. The search for love is hard and this pain is a real pain and will not subside until you find it. People don’t find happiness until they find happiness and the frustrating quest for love persists until the solution is met and that solution is to find LOVE. It is a real feeling to want love and to want that type of happiness and those who feel these feelings of frustration and sadness over not having that connection know just what I am talking about.
Love is something that we all desire. It is something that we desperately want to find and that is why the search is so hard, when we look hard for something then it is often difficult to find, but how does one not look for something that their heart desires so bad?
Love is something we all need. Many do not feel this need as badly as others, but we all desire it and the search for it is not an easy one. Many do not get why this is the case, but that does change the struggle to find it and the need for it. I wish there were easy answers but sadly there are not and the problem will remain until love comes into our life, until then we just have to hope and keep trying, even though at moments we struggle to find reasons to keep on going.
We must though as love IS out there, we just have to find it!
