Living with the Monster Virus

I like many of my fellow humans all across the globe have become infected with this monster virus known as COVID-19 or as it is also referred to as, the “Novel Coronavirus”.

Up to this point, my case is considered mild, but mild for this virus is hell compared to other viral illnesses like the flu, this virus is a monster and it is much more deadly and damaging to the human body and that is being seen more than ever with COVID-19 and its effects.

Viruses are extremely diverse. Most living organisms, no matter how big or small, have specific viruses that can infect them. This doesn’t mean that all viruses can affect any living organism. Rather, there are specific viruses that harm select living organisms. Sometimes, a virus can affect more than one species, but these organisms have to be similar in their development and reproduction.

Compared to viruses like the flu, the Coronavirus is extremely complex and extremely unpredictable.

It is so unpredictable that the difference between survival and perishing from it is a fine line and one never knows if they are out of the woods or when they are going to recover, or if they are.

I, so far have been one of the lucky ones and my symptoms have been on the mild side, but even then, they still are bad and hard to deal with and are at times unbearable.

I am 10 days into my battle with this virus and the symptoms I have had so far are very hard to deal with and at times they emotionally and mentally drag me down and bring a sense of hopelessness into my life and into my being that is difficult to put into words.

At first, I thought it was just a flu bug as it is around that time of year and I work as a frozen food worker at a major grocery store, so I am in the cold temps quite often. Then, as my symptoms increased in duration and also number of symptoms, it became clear that I had infamously contracted this virus that none of us ever wanted to.

Cough

This is a symptom that we hear so much about and one that is a telltale sign of being a carrier of this virus. This came on first for me and has remained with me throughout my journey with COVID-19.

I am times cough so much that I cannot stop and feels like my throat is closing up. I try to produce mucus to clear my throat and I cannot no matter how much I clear my throat or try and cough, nothing will come out most of the time and when it does, it is painful like you would not believe.

The cough is persistent, dry, and unrelenting. You feel it in your chest and through to your back. It is a cough that is consistent with lung illnesses and stays with you most of the day and sometimes will wake you up in the middle of the night.

This cough is a hallmark of the illness and it is something that simply is no fun to have. Not only is it at times painful, but it makes it hard to maintain a sense of getting enough air as when you are coughing, you feel as though you can’t breathe or speak and that is a scary place for anyone to be at any stage of an illness.

Breathing Issues

Another hallmark symptom of COVID-19. We all want to breathe and when we cannot then it is a scary place to be.

Trouble breathing is one of the more terrifying symptoms of this virus and it is one where if it gets too bad, will require medical attention, the problem is that we simply do not know where that line is drawn and when we reach that point where we should seek medical help.

When the virus gets into your lungs, that is when it is time to worry because that is when the rates of fatality from this illness are shown to rise and that is the danger area for many who have COVID-19, of all the people who have died, it is this symptom that is the start of their decline.

For me, it is worse because I already suffer from asthma and I have already experienced some troubling breathing problems in my week and a half of being sick with this virus. It has gotten to the point where I have had to gasp for air and where I feel sharp pains in the rib area that shoots back to my kidney location and that is a truly scary place to be.

Extreme Fatigue

This right here has been my most profound symptom to date.

This symptom is one that is hard to explain to those who have not had this virus because people think being tired as you are sleepy and you just are lazy until you fall asleep.

The Coronavirus fatigue is MUCH different.

I like to compare it to how you would feel if you did not sleep for days and then try to function and be awake with no sleep except that your mind is not really sleepy, but your entire body feels like it is a dead weight and does not function, yet you are awake and alert.

I used to party with certain drugs back in the day before getting clean and getting my life together and this feels like coming down from a five-day run of partying with no sleep and that feeling of crashing that goes with the whole recovery from a long run on substances.

For those unfamiliar with that whole concept, think of it as you sleep a full night and still feel like you did not sleep at all. You are awake but you cannot move, your body is paralyzed and the feeling of being awake and not able to move around or fall asleep is maddening.

This is the worst symptom for me and one that I am told lingers for weeks and weeks after you no longer have the virus. It is literal HELL and it is a clear clue that you have this virus as with other illnesses you feel tired and have low energy, but not to this level.

You can function, with this virus, you feel this fatigue non-stop and it flat-out prohibits you from functioning at even 20% of what you normally function at and that is the hell part.

Pre-COVID-19, I had a lot of energy, I was in the gym daily doing hard workouts, kickboxing classes, basketball, and had an active job where combined with those activities, I burned 1,800 calories a-day and now, I do not have have enough energy to go from my bedroom to the kitchen to get a glass of water, let alone anything productive.

Even sitting here writing takes extreme physical effort. This symptom has been the worst by far.

Fever

Another hallmark symptom of this virus, yet one that I have experienced little of to this point, although it has begun to rear its ugly head in the past several hours.

This is another symptom to watch out for as a high fever can be getting into that danger territory that none of us want to reach.

I fear the fever. I hear that it is a beast when it gets high. I do get chills at night and really have no way of knowing if I have a fever because I have not been able to locate a thermometer anywhere in the city at any big box store or pharmacy, sold out everywhere.

I just have to hope I do not have one, but today I have felt warm much of the day along with hot and cold flashes.

Headache and Body aches

Another brutal symptom.

These symptoms here are bad just like the fatigue and make it difficult to function and be up and about, at least with any level of productivity of any sort.

The headaches I have experienced have been worse than migraines and they feel like a vice grip is gripping your skull. These headaches are so bad that when they come on, it is hard to look at TV or a computer screen and light hurts the head immensely.

The body aches I have experienced are equally as bad. My whole body feels like I have a 24/7 hangover, yet I do not drink.

The body hurts constantly and there seems to be nothing that makes it go away and the pain get better. The pains in the chest get bad too and that has more to do with lung and breathing issues that I experience from this awful virus, but the body aches are bad and make it hard to function at any level whatsoever.

There are so many symptoms that I experience that I have not mentioned here and the list is changing. The data on this virus and general belief that are being giving to us by the CDC and others in medical field says that a dry cough, a fever, and shortness of breath are the hallmark symptoms of this virus, but there are so many more and it changes daily as we learn more.

There are emotional symptoms that I experience, I am going through the five stages of grief from having this virus, there are other physical symptoms that I have not had with other viral illnesses, and then there is the on and off return of the ones I have mentioned throughout this article that make having this virus hell.

I believe that I will recover from this monster virus, but in the 11 days that I have been sick with COVID-19, things have not been easy, I feel like hell and just when I think I have turned a corner, the symptoms get worse once they seem to be getting better and that is the frustrating part of this entire virus that I am suffering from.

I hope this is over soon for me and for everyone unfortunate enough to come down with this monster, but until then all that I can do and all that any of us can do is accept where we are at and work on getting better by doing deep breathing exercises so we do not get into the dangerous territory, eat healthy, stay hydrated, and take care of our mental and emotional health and if we do that, we will recover from this.

One moment at a time. That is how I am getting through this and on to the other side.