Staying Sober in an Alcohol Centered Society

There is a saying in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous, “If you hang out at a barber shop, you’re going to get a haircut.” I liken this statement to what it is like to live in a world where it is encouraged and even expected that people be a drinker and participate in the party lifestyle of getting off work and hitting the bars and getting it on.

When you are sober, you have to do what another A.A. saying says to do, “There is only one thing that you have to change, it is everything.” These two sayings are big within our alcohol centered society that we reside in as these sayings are where we are at in trying to manage social situations as well as our sobriety.

The “haircut”

I associate the haircut analogy to hanging out with drinkers and at bars as we try and date and have social engagements in our lives. If we go to these places and hang with these people long and often enough then we may end up on the wrong side of sobriety at some point and get that haircut, also known as picking up that drink.

It is expected that we follow along and drink with the rest of our co-workers, friends, and dates and be part of the clique and drink with the people that we associate with. It comes down to the fact that people do not understand us as alcoholics and addicts and will even go as far as to pressure us to participate in substance use with them.

If we hang out long enough with people who drink and use in these social situations then we will pick up again. The haircut saying is important for those especially in early recovery where you may not have the tools that people have with years and even decades of sobriety. I find that when you have more time clean and sober then you will be able to go to these places and remain sober.

As the line in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says, “We can go anywhere in recovery if we are spiritually fit”.

Changing Everything

There is only thing that we must change, that is everything.

This saying is so true. It relates to the above point in the way that we no longer hang out the same places that we did when we were drinking and using, if we do then we get loaded again, in most cases.

We must do a complete housecleaning and change everything, but in an alcohol centered society, that can be tough.

People expect us to drink (and in some cases, use drugs) to be a part of and to belong to their groups. We as alcoholics and addicts have a need to belong and to be part of, so we conform to the party lifestyle that we have in our world these days.

Some of us can go to bars and clubs and not participate in these behaviors and in the party scene in our recovery, but still many, cannot. I have found that if we are to remain sober and more importantly, remain spiritually fit, then we must avoid these tempting places, at least in the early years of our recovery journey.

Changing everything is essential for us to have our best shot at recovery as it is the people, places, and things that trigger the alcoholic/addict and make it easier to return to active addiction. I believe that for us to make the most of our journey in recovery, changing everything is a key factor and directly relates to the above point of the haircut.

So, the question remains, how do you stay sober in a society that in most cases, does not stay sober?

This is a good question.

Whether it is the dating world, the business world, classmates, or any other area of our society, there is one thing for sure, and that is that our country and the world in many senses is centered around drinking and the party type of lifestyle.

What is the first question someone asks you when you meet them?

Do you want to get a drink?

Whether it be co-workers asking you to get a few beers after work or a potential date asking you to share a bottle of wine, or any other type of social situation, it is always about the drink. It is rare in this day and age for people to ask you to go to a movie or get a cup of coffee when you first meet them, it is always about booze.

The dating world is especially this way. When you meet someone, they ask if you want to get a drink.

Some bad relationships come from bad decisions made while drinking. It is by engaging in social situations while sober that we make better relationships and better decisions and have less of the bad stuff that make life a mix of chaos and pain.

Alcohol is a common theme in the dating and social world. It is hard to find people who do not drink to date. It is so engrained in our culture and the way of the world and for many of us who are sober, it was how we operated for a very long time.

When people get off work, they go and get drinks. When business people entertain clients, they go and get drinks together, family get togethers are always drinking occasions and so on. Our world is immersed with scenes of drinking and being not sober, it is the way that the world operates and how things happen.

Being social, but sober and strong

It is possible to be sober and be social at the same time.

We can date, entertain, and be social while not picking up that drink and throwing away our sobriety. The pressures of society for everyone to be drunk and to avoid sobriety can be hard and can put us in a position where we almost feel as if we have to drink to belong and to fit in, but we do not, we can be social and sober.

We must remain strong and realize that we can have fun in sobriety, but it will not happen overnight.

When people pressure us to drink and be party pals we simply have to tell them that we do not do that and stick to our guns so to speak and stay sober no matter what. It is more than possible to be social and sober and do all of the things that we did when we were drinking in sobriety, it just takes some practice.

We can have the life we want and be happy in sobriety, even in a society where most people drink and those of us who do not are the abnormal ones and the odd ones out. It is something that is possible, to date and go to functions and even to parties and events and not drink, it can be hard until it becomes a routine, but for sure possible.

Sobriety and all of the things that we want to enjoy can co-exist, we simply must be strong and envision the fun we can have and the benefits that can come our way without that drink or drug and if we can do that, then we are well on our way to becoming sober and strong individuals in an alcohol and other substances centered society.