The Painful Process of Letting Go

Letting go of anything is hard and takes a lot out of a person as they struggle to work their way through the process of letting go, healing, and moving on from the situation.

This is no easy thing to do for even the strongest souls. This can be even more difficult for those with emotional baggage and problems. For those who have other issues, letting go of things can be an even bigger challenge and even more difficult to deal with.

There are a lot of things that are hard to let go of in life. I will go over four of them in this article and talk about the process of letting go of these specific issues and remaining emotionally balanced and being able to get through it with body, mind, and spirit intact. These events that are big issues in our lives and must be addressed for us to move forward and get out of that “stuck” place that we can get trapped in.

Each of these situations are unique in themselves and each give us problems in our lives in the way that we feel pain in dealing with them and moving on from them to a healthier and happier place and some even are hard to move on from and let go of. It can be real hard to move on and let go of some of them but rather easier to from others, each situation is different and unique in their own way.

Addictions

In recovery circles they say the saying, “Let Go and Let God”. This is a thing that is suggested for people who struggle with an addiction to do when they are trying to get over the habit and something that is required for recovery to take place and for people to get better. This however is not always easy for alcoholics and addicts to do as their drink and/or drugs are like a security blanket to them and it is hard to let go.

Often times it takes a long time for the addicted person to get to a place where they can let go of what is keeping them stuck and to move on from that issue that they deal with. It is no easy feat to recover from an addictive substance or behavior and so many deal with relapse after relapse as they struggle to get over the problem.

They want to let go and let God take over but that is often easier said than done in these situations and they find that they remain stuck and keep on drinking and using and thus, remain in pain and find that there is no way out for them. There is a way out though and that is through the steps outlined in the program of recovery (AA or NA) and through a connection to their higher power and turning it over.

Turning it over means to LET GO. It means to give God control and stop trying to play God. This is something that not only addicts must do but that all of us who struggle with any issue that we are trying to let go of must do for us to get better and to find a path to a better way of living. Holding on to things that keep us stuck is no way to live and with the issue of addiction, people remain stuck in their disease until they finally let go and move on.

Past Hurts and Mistakes

Another thing that we hold on to that we must let go of are the things of are the things that we did in our past that bring us guilt and remorse and other difficult emotions. The past is the past but for many it stays in the present and they remain stuck. Just like with addictions, the past can cause a lot of pain and can keep people stuck right where they are and in that sense, it is not the past but rather it is the present.

We all make mistakes but it is living in those past mistakes and mess ups that keep us from moving forward. As they say, what is done is done and we can’t change what has already happened but rather we must learn from our past mistakes so that we do not repeat those same mistakes in the future and that is how we improve as people.

The mistakes of the past keep everyone stuck right where they are because they do not let it go and move on. This is the key to any issue and the theme of what we are talking about here as I am sure you can see. Letting go of what was so that we can can have what will be and what is right now is the key to life and the way that we achieve happiness.

We cannot become happier and free if we live the “what would have been” type of life and live in that type of thinking. We must let go of what we did or did not do and move forward. We must forgive ourselves for what happened in the past so that we can move forward and be our best selves in the future and this is how we let go of the past and move forward. It is the only way that we can forgive ourselves for what we did, we must let go of our past and move into the present and then the future.

Relationships

Relationships are the last issue I want to discuss in the letting go discussion that we have here.

Relationships are hard to let go of when they were the type of relationship that did not work out romantically but in all other aspects were a good experience and were the type of situation where you remain best friends and every close.

The letting go process in this area is a painful one to say the least. The letting go of someone who you spent years and even decades with is emotional and hard to get through. The emotional feelings that one goes through when they have to move on from a person that they have had thousands of memories with over the years (mostly positive) is one that causes a lot of pain and is hard to get past.

Relationships are a tough one. This is an area that is different for the person and for the situation in relation to moving on.

Letting go of someone that you love is no easy feat and is a difficult thing to get through when you love that person with all of your heart but are just not a good fit in certain areas. It is painful and emotional to move on from someone that you spent so long with and it is a long grieving process that one must go through to get to the other side and truly — let go.

Conclusion

The bottom line is that letting go and moving on is hard and is a painful process, no matter what we are grieving and moving on from and no matter what the reason that we are letting go is. The bottom line is that it is hard and it causes emotional pain that is difficult to overcome and takes a long time to recover from.

These are difficult issues for any of us to deal with and at any time during our lives.

The pain is real and the process is not a short or easy one. These are the facts of the matter when it comes to the issue of letting go of an addiction, our past mistakes , or a long-term relationship that is no more. No matter what it is that we are seeking to let go of , it is hard and it hurts and nobody can deny this reality.

Life hurts as it is. Letting go of what is important to us hurts even more and is hard.

I am sure that if you are reading this article that you are trying to let go of something that is important to you or at one time was important to you and to your life. Whether this thing was good for you or not, the fact is that it was a thing or person or situation that was important to you and hurts to let go of and move on from.

As much as it hurts to let go , we must. If we do not let go then we can never move on and thus — we can never heal and grow.

--

--

--

Author, activist, American. Love to write everything from politics to recovery and much more. Find me on Twitter under my name for much more!

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.

Recommended from Medium

The Insane Ramblings of a Recovered Heroine Addict

The Big Book Is a Sacred Cow That’s Not Working Anymore

Why the Second Year of Sobriety is Even Better than the First

12 Things I’ve Learned After 12 Years Sober

Heroin is the Worst Thing to Ever Happen to Me

Recovery is About the Solution, Not the Problem

The Problem With Performative Healing

When Your Child Finally Gets Real Help For Their Addiction

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Rob Clewley

Rob Clewley

Author, activist, American. Love to write everything from politics to recovery and much more. Find me on Twitter under my name for much more!

More from Medium

How to move on ? The art of letting go.

Ten Tips To Nourish Yourself You Need To Learn Now

Is the story of your past Serving You?

What I Mean When I say, I Love You.